I never thought I would be writing about a wanking simulator game but yes, it is a slow news day and this will have to do. We have had Farming Simulator, Job Simulator and even Goat Simulator so why not a Wanking Simulator?
This article is most definitely NSFW
Developed by MrCiastku and now available to wishlist on Steam, the game promises to give players the “best wanking experience known to mankind” and I am not going to test that claim. The game follows the story of a man named Winston Gay who lives in a town called Gay Bay. Winston has lost his house to the government for, wait for it, “playing with himself too loudly” and now he seeks revenge.
The aim of the game is to go on a rampage and destroy as many things as possible before getting caught by the cops and collect points by wanking to the chaos you cause along the way
Now, by the sound of it, the story has most likely been written by some pubescent, homophobic teenager that is obsessed with wanking. Luckily for us, you don’t get to see any of the business being done in the promotional art for the game, only a leg kicking things over. In the trailer, however, things are a little different.
When we do see the business in the trailer, it is blurred out which hopefully is the case in-game too as it would be a lot more approachable knowing we won’t have to see anything. Whether or not Steam will actually release this is still a question we ask ourselves. Wanking Simulator is another low point in gaming and will be another controversial topic if and when it releases in Q3 this year.